Aging

It's really weird when you are in your 30's and you start to realize your age significants. I remember being in my teens and realizing how I was growing and so on, back then, mom and dad were the age I am now. What a trip to think about!

I seem to have it ok so far, as just the other night I was mistaken for being younger than the early 30 year olds. ((knocks on wood)) Hopefully they weren't just being nice! Once in a while I get carded, and I usually take that as an extreme compliment.

When I was younger I never thought I would not know the trendy styles, but as I've matured I realize now how insignificant that sort of thing really is, and how important it is to make my dollar stretch as far as possible. Until this past weekend, I hadn't owned a designer pair of jeans in probably 15 years, and it took my wonderful husband to buy them for me. My jeans are always whatever is on sale at Walmart or JC Penny's, if I'm lucky enough to find something that will fit from that store.

Me at age 3, at probably 34 - 35ish, and aged by the help of a neat little free app for IPhone called Age My Face.

I was hanging out with my sister-in-law the other day, (she's in her early 20's,) and I mentioned the song I woke up to on my Ihome that morning. It happened to be "Hangin' Tough" by the infamous NTKOB, (not a favorite of mine by the way either,) and she tells me, she's heard of them before, but didn't know who they were. *giggles* That made me feel the oldest I've ever felt in my whole almost 37 years. I immediately flashed back to when I was a kid asking my mom who is Donnie and Marie Osmond??

Things just seem to be changing so fast and time is flying by so quickly. I remember my grandparents always saying the same sort of things as I was growing up, and never really understanding them until now. Back in the day, I just thought they were old and needed to get with the times already. Perception matures with age, just as everything else.

Aging really has been a trip for me so far, especially when I think back to what I thought my life would end up like, compared to what it really is now. I'm not exactly where I thought I'd be by this age in life, but I'm learning to forgive myself for not living up to my own expectations. The important thing is I feel that I'm on the right track now and headed toward the life I've always been dreaming of living.

The World Revolves Around Sex (& probably money too, but mostly SEX!)

Why do humans act like animals when it comes to sex? 
It's so annoying to me. 

Yes, I agree SEX is nice, fun, feels good and all that jazz, but really, too many people just lose their head over it. I think conditions are getting worse as time goes on!

TV shows, commercials, movies, cartoons and just EVERYTHING these days completely revolves around sex, and if it doesn't, then, sex is the secondary plot line.

I don't mean to sound like a prude here, kids, but some, "things" are meant to be left private and special between two people. (Or whatever it is you do behind closed doors.) We are teaching our youth that their bodies are not to be respected, that it's ok to share themselves with any ole Tom, Dick, or Harry.

We are teaching this generation that sex is as casual as a handshake. That's just gross! As my mom would say, "You don't know where that's been!"

I can not believe how advanced kids are today compared to when I was in elementary school and in junior high. So many of them are sexually active at such young ages, and babies are having babies. We need to do something about it. I have no idea what?...Maybe, parents need to start taking part in raising their own children and not relying on daycare service, and I'm sure bringing God back into our schools, could not hurt either.

Now days, I can't turn on the television with out seeing something, revolving around sex. My husband tells me, "well SEX sells!" Why is that? Are we all that easily manipulated? I say, SAD TIMES! The television isn't the only culprit either, our music, (as much as I hate to say it,) has become so dirty and nasty. Our kids are running around singing these filthy lyrics, and not thinking a thing about it! These songs I wouldn't listen to in front of my own parents with out blushing. I feel that society has gone out of control, and there is probably no going back now.

I wish that our youth could keep their innocence longer. I wish that parent's could be the ones to explain sex to their own children, before the world has the chance to warp, taint and mutilate the most beautiful thing God intended, for two married people, who love each other, to share and conceive in love.

I believe the purity of love has been corrupted and this is part of the reason there is so much divorce and adultery. Love, a deep seeded connection, is confused with lust, which never lasts.

Marriage has become a short-term convenience instead of a forever commitment, and it's not taken seriously anymore. Why? Is it because there are too many fringe benefits to being married? Is it because we seem to look at married people as fashionable, rather than the misfit singles? Whatever it is, I do think it has some impact on the way, we as a culture perceive, and teach our youth about sexuality.

Sex is beautiful, but our society and media make it seem dirty, vile and naughty. We need to bring back the virtue and innocence. What you do in private is your business, but you don't need to tell the world about it either, there are easily susceptible percipience everywhere.

It's been relevant for decades, since the "Sexual Revolution", but it just seems to be getting worse and worse and going down hill. I don't think this was ever a concern for me as much as it is now that I have been noticing the little ones in my life with these symptoms. I must be getting older and wiser, if only what I know now, I had known back when it was early enough to do something to change. Damn, the age old regret of hindsight always being 20/20.

Times change, I get that, but when they are not changing for the better it's time to start doing something about it. I just hope parents follow suite and that it's not too late to make a significant difference for a better future.

Helpful Links:
http://www.bangscience.org/2011/09/%EF%BB%BFthe-birds-and-the-bees/ 

http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/feelings/questions_sex.html

http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-to-talk-to-your-child-about-sex_67908.bc

http://simplemom.net/how-to-talk-to-your-children-about-sex/

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/sexuality/talking_about_sex.aspx

http://www.parenting.com/article/talking-to-kids-about-sex-21335549

http://www.valuesparenting.com/talktokids.php

http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/talking-to-your-kids-about-sex

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/parents/talking-kids-about-sex-sexuality-37962.htm

Suicide the pandemic!

There has been way too many funerals lately and they all have the same cause of death in common, self inflicted. This is very disturbing, especially when more and more people closer and closer to you are just checking out instead of trying to work their own lives out. I realize times have been tough, but there just really isn't any excuse to just give up completely.

We as a nation have had some major struggles financially and so many people have lost jobs, houses, cars, etc. and have gone way over their own heads in debt only to end up bankrupt, trying to live well beyond their own means. Things have become more important than people, and The United States is drifting farther and farther away from our roots under God.

There are so many man made chemicals in our foods, drinks, and just plain water and who knows what effects it could be having on our bodies and minds. Everything we grow or raise is bathed in pesticides and hormones. All of our foods are genetically altered for best yield and biggest production.

We are constantly exposing ourselves to other toxins in the lotions, shampoos, perfumes, makeup, and all the other products we use on a daily basis. We will probably never know what those things are doing to us. The human of today is completely different from even 50 years ago. Could all of this be changing our chemicals in our brains and affecting the normal activity too? Don't even get me started on all the new pharmaceuticals available and so casually prescribed nowadays. 

It almost seems like killing yourself  is becoming an infectious disease! It has been romanticized in books and the movies and the more that it's talked about the more it seems socially expectable to just turn out your own light, because that's your own right. I feel like 'we' are all becoming desensitized from it. 

Hmm...Now that just could not be possible. Really? You can not 'catch the suicide infection'. Absurd!  The best research tool I have today is my trusty web browser and 'Google'. . . here are the findings.

This study discovered that 12- and 13-year-olds who had been exposed to suicide were five times more likely to be pondering suicide themselves or to claim that they have tried to kill themselves. 

Read more at: http://www.heavy.com/news/2013/05/canadian-study-reveals-teen-suicide-may-be-infectious/

Suicide is the second leading cause of death among college students, behind car accidents.  ...

Wow that is really disturbing!!! 

Most suicides go unreported by the media because of the fear of copycat suicides. The unwritten rule in the newsroom is to avoid “glorifying” suicide with media coverage. Unless you’ve personally been affected, the pervasiveness of the issue is largely unknown.  

Read more at: http://onwardstate.com/2013/04/12/take-suicide-prevention-seriously-my-story/

 Apparently I'm not the only one that has thought this suicide thing is more contagious than H1N1. It sounds silly, but it seems to be true. In my researching I even have learned that there is a band called 'Suicide Pandemic'. I got a good chuckle out of that, until I realized I must be getting really old.
http://www.reverbnation.com/suicidepandemic 
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Suicide-Pandemic/195201757207302

I can personally sympathize with those individuals that have been suicidal. It's not a pleasant place to be emotionally, (obviously,) but you aren't thinking in your 'right mind.' When you are considering ending your own life, some how your logical mind has talked yourself into thinking that dying is the best for everyone around you. Suicide is the result of solving whatever problem that is blocking your livelihood, but it's really creating a whole ton of problems for everyone that loves you and really just a way of giving up. 

Yes, rationalizing suicide is completely crazy, but it makes sense in your head, when you are in this state of mind. Most of the time this sort of thinking happens, because of a chemical imbalance in the brain and an in ability to solve problems and function normal brain activity. A very good psychiatrist and councilor can really do you wonders, and a close friend or family member that 'sees the signs' before it's too late. 

In my own experience, there are red flags that you should watch out for and take seriously. If someone you know is exhibiting several of these symptoms all at the same time, you need to get that person to help.

• Talking about wanting to die or to kill themselves.
• Looking for a way to kill themselves, such as searching online or buying a gun
• Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live.
• Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain.
• Talking about being a burden to others.
• Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs.
• Acting anxious or agitated; behaving recklessly.
• Sleeping too little or too much.
• Withdrawing or isolating themselves.
• Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge.
• Displaying extreme mood swings. 

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/learn/warningsigns.aspx

I would like to add a few of my own:

• Talking about death, or what happens after you die, suicide or mentions any sort of 'suicide plan'
• Talking about a "will" or who would take care of pets etc. if anything ever 'happened'
• Making many phone calls/single visits to several people from their past and also family and loved ones, just out of the blue 
• Giving up hobbies, possessions, or activities that have always been very important  

I would say that I'm quite experienced in this subject, more than I'd like to be, but if I can use that experience to help others, the pain I have endured will be put to some sort of good. I have had too many people in my life that chose to just give up and let everyone else just wonder why. 

The unanswered questions are almost the worst part, next to the pain of missing the deceased, seeing the hurt in everyone who is mourning, and the guilt of wondering if there was something you could have done to help change the out come. Sometimes "what if?" can be the hardest words to swallow. 

Inspiration

I'm not sure where I found this but it's very inspiring when I see it. 

I hope it will help others too.

Time is ticking away...

I really hate time.

The whole concept of time just really blows big massive giant gargantuan chunks.

The older I get the faster time flies by, and I use to think that was bull crap when my mom would say that to me, but it's really flippin true!!!

I remember when I was in my single digit age,... and it seemed like a minute lasted an hour. Then I hit double digits I couldn't wait to be 16, mom says "don't wish your life away, enjoy it now, 'cuz someday you'll miss these days."  Then twenties,... "I cant wait to be 21!...whoa! 25 slow down!" Unfortunately in my maturity, I've learned that most everything 'my mom said to me', was and is true.

Now, staring into my late 30's, perceiving time as the most precious commodity in the world, and it appears to be accelerating as it is progressing, the most important people in my life have become paramount. Well they should be, and need to be. In this day and progressive technology age, there just is no excuses for not being able to keep up with your loved ones. I start feeling so guilty thinking about how much of my time I spend on myself, and forgetting to contact the people i hold so dear.

The weeks are now comparable to days and the months start to blur, I turn around and 6 have gone by. Time starts speeding up and that same minute that was lasting an hour is now flying by the second now. The weeks are passing like days, once you are into your 'grown up' routine, things start to blend together.

I guess what I'm trying to say is enjoy ever minute,...no, i mean ever second you have on this earth with all the family, friends, and "four legged fur kids", as a bestie of mine would say, be generous with your time and spend it on the important ones!

In the beginning...

I grew up in a very small community. I went to public school, and wasn't very well received by my classmates early on. I remember having many stomach aches, "growing pains", kidney infections, colds and when my female "friend" came, that started a whole new set of painful issues that seemed to be way more annoying and painful for me than for my classmates.

I remember I use to get these terrible back aches that would start in my lower back and then go all the way around to my lower abdominal region, like 'all the way around cramps'. It was like my body was being pulled apart and cut in half. I would literally be in bed for the whole day and exhausted from so much pain. Along with this terrible discomfort would come a terrible debilitating migraine, that may or may not go away for many days.

About the age of 15, and not sexual active or even thinking about such a thing, my doctor suggested I get on "the pill" to help manage my symptoms from monthly cycles. I still had pretty terrible symptoms, at least now I could plan around them every 28 days, lucky me!

I switched schools about my sophomore year, because of social anxiety, and irreconcilable differences with a few tormenters It was much easier to avoid any confrontations than to actually stand up and confront my inability to control my emotions. Every overwhelming emotional outburst seemed to end in uncontrollable crying and sobbing, which if you can imagine was easy for bullies to poke at, and that would just make it worse and so on.
Back then, in the early 90's it wasn't cool, yet, to save kids from harassment, and there was no school of choice, you were all on your own to fend for yourself. I had to see a psychiatrist that ordered the school district to release me to another, due to emotional and mental trauma.

Since then, looking back, I'm very glad for that psychiatrist, Dr. Thompson. I was well accepted in a new environment that didn't already know how or when to push my buttons. Still struggling with my previous issues though, but now at least I had a clean slate. I think even back then I had a lot of the symptoms of fibromyalgia, they just all hadn't become completely overwhelming yet.